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Marlan Warren is a journalist, novelist, editor, playwright, screenwriter, blogger, website designer, and publicist. She is the author of the fictionalized memoir, Roadmaps for the Sexually Challenged: All’s Not Fair in Love or War and the AIDS memoir, Rowing on a Corner. She reviews for Midwest Book Review. Marlan is also a filmmaker.

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My life, your life, our lives inside and outside of Los Angeles and its angels.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

THE POEM OF YES




The Poem of YES

Gave up
Air pressure like an anvil
Forcing me to stop
Lie on floor
Wondering if my heart would stop
Cat there
Flattened
Why go on?
If you can't stand the Heat...
Then what?
A show of hands, please.
Who fucking knows?
Just lying there
Pretending it was good for me.
Then it came to me
After how long I don't know
"THE YES IS WHAT MATTERS"
And I saw
My Week
had too many
No's.
No, you can't do that.
No, I should do that.
No, we don't want that.
No, because she hates us.
No, because we hate him.
No, because I'm afraid of you.
No, because I just
can't.


Then I remembered a text from my friend
sent from his favorite place on Earth:
"I am always happiest when I am here..."
And I felt what it feels like to feel free.
Even just for a moment.
Because you feel loved.
And you are giving love.
You are wanted. And you are glad to be wanted.


I thought, "I need to write this down."
THE YES IS WHAT MATTERS.


I got up.
Rumbling.
Outside rain.
Sun shining.
Thunder.
So so hot still.
But wet.


And the lady across the street
Watering her lawn.


But I made it back.
And I am not afraid anymore.

Marlan Warren, August 2017, Los Angeles, California


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